14 year old hangs self in school bathroom, had expressed suicidal ideation

You know, this is just getting so old. Two weeks ago, we read about the Wencho case now proceeding in Lakewood. I have a mental file folder full of similar tales of kids in pain.

But you want to know what sticks out the most, to me, in these stories?

From the Wencho case:

The school counselor told the parents that “the problem was (the boy’s) own inability to deal with the anxiety and stress that the bullying caused him.”

From the case in Utah:

“Her friends would tell you that she had talked about” suicide, principal Teri Cutler said. “It’s important to note that never were the discussions ignored. She was talked to. We tried to talk to her.”

How many times do I have to ask: What is wrong with these people???

Wencho: the problem was the victims inability to deal with how the bullies made him feel? Well DUH. I mean, totally, DUH. Who ever licensed that counselor should immediately revoke his or her OWN license to license. You don’t tell a victim that they’re a victim because they can’t manage bullies. That is the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard. Not to mention unprofessional and with zero clinical support.

Utah: She was TALKED to? You tried to TALK to her?

Hello????? How about LISTENING? How about – she was listened to? We tried to LISTEN to her?



Let me tell you a few things: suicidal ideation sucks. And if you’ve never known what it is to feel hopeless, count yourself lucky. Because, sadly, there are many folks who do know what hopelessness feels like and looks like. And unless you’re willing to admit that you’ve never known hopelessness but that doesn’t mean that others haven’t, then you have no right to say a damn thing to people who do feel hopeless. Because what those folks need?

Ain’t no talking to. It’s listening. For as long as it takes.

THIS I believe and know all too well.

No, I’m not now nor have I ever been on any meds related to any clinical issues related to anything related to this post. But I’ve been far too close to far too many people who have. You don’t really think my getting a joint degree in law and social work was purely for fun?

4 thoughts on “14 year old hangs self in school bathroom, had expressed suicidal ideation

  1. Oy – sorry bout that. 🙂 This is the kind of lesson, from this case? That has to be said way more times than should be necessary. True human failing that so many folks don’t or refuse to get it.

  2. Hey, don’t blame me! j/k . I always say that when ‘unique’ comes up.I linked you at “home”, too. Very timely. I hope they read you.

  3. Barbara – thanks for the comment and the link. What a great title for a blog. I will blogline you so I can read it regularly. Have a good Pesach. Tragic case though, yes? And we know it’s not as unique as it should be.

  4. Thank you, thank you for posting this. Very timely.I know exactly how those kids feel and you are dead on – who was listening…. NO ONE.I just blogged about something similar HereValidation is so key.I hope all those people lose their licenses.Shabbat Shalom.

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